Life is looking up again. Friday night I was taken out by a friend (male) to a champagne and canapes evening.We had a great night sitting there waxing lyrical over how long it had been since we'd sat down and had a good chinwag about what was going on in each others lives,who we'd been seeing,what our future plans were what was happening in my ever changing life!
We had lots of champagne and talked all night and he told me that it was really great to see me so happy and strong again. I told him that my life now is going to be lived on a daily basis, I have ideas of how I'd like it to go but I'm never going to set anything in stone and as far as men go I don't particularly want a relationship but do want to have male company,someone who I can call up to go out,but not expect anything from nor he from me.
He thought this was possibly the most sensible thing he'd heard me utter all night (the champagne hit quite early on you see). He said too many women coming out of a long term relationship make the fatal error of diving straight into a new one without giving themselves a bit of breathing space to really find out what they want and who they are as an individual.
I thought about this a lot and I have to say he has a point. Up until now I've never been without a partner through my whole adult life,and have never ever had a break to find out what I really like doing for myself (I've discovered I love cycling and it's good for hangovers !)So when my ex left I didn't have a clue what to do when left to my own devices. It's funny how you fall into a pattern of doing things because someone else likes them.It's not always a bad thing as obviously that's what being a couple is all about,but I'd definitely say if I do have another relationship at some point that I will most certainly make time for me.
ps Geordie guy's never been heard of again,but Text boy's surprised me and asked me out to a proper grown up dinner party with his friends!Maybe I've been too cynical in my initial judgement of him,he's working hard bless him.
Sunday 13 May 2007
breathing
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14 comments:
Crikey, what I'd give for a dinner invitation. Mind you there's a lot of wheelchair baggage! lol.
WTF? isn't this what I have been saying to you for, eh, MONTHS?
*hmmmmmmm*
Sounds like a fab - and highly sensible - night. I don't think I've EVER managed to combine the two!
Have a great time with Text Boy: he sounds more reasonable than I'd given him credit for.
I know more guys than girls that run right into another relationship when one ends. Often they seem to get married right away again.
Everyone could do with some breathing space and me time.
Not so sure Hannah but we sure as hell hope so. . .good luck Ginge. Love u loads XXX
I think it's good that you can go out without a hidden agenda. I also think that if you do find something by accident...it can be the best. Shit worked for me...
John-lol believe me I never get asked to proper grown up dinner parties either.kids parties maybe!
DQ-Yes and I always listen to you too,it's just taken a while for me to get there in my head.
Hannah-A rarity for me too!and text boy's
full of surprises,we'll see eh:-)
Just-Yeah they also tend to overlap more!I'm enjoying my breathing space.
Goth-Think I can safely say hidden agenda's aren't my thing,I'm way too honest.And who knows what'll happen I'm just enjoying it all while I can.
What's that phrase - 'a phoenix need a bicycle like a man needs fish?'
There's a really funny book (if you like American humor) called "Love Stinks" by Joy Overton (you might be able to get a used copy somewhere - it's out of print). She recommends a "Bruce" after a break up. A Bruce is a charming, good-looking fellow who's into roses and lovely evenings but isn't interested in commitment and you just go along for the ride. I had a Bruce for 4 months a year after my break up and I highly recommend them. You may be able to turn Text guy into a Bruce. On the other hand, I suspect he's looking for something more permanent to take along when he moves ... unless he's trying the "I'm moving to another country" strategy to induldge in ... a lack of responsiblity.
James-my bicycle has no demands on me so is always the best bet,that and it keeps me healthier in the head):-)
elaine- he's definitely going,(small village and everybody know's everybody's business)in 18months to be exact. so the Bruce scenario sounds perfect to me,but as ever I'll reserve judgement on anything involving my lovelife,who the hell know's what'll happen!
Hidden agendas?
Bloody hard to find one you can hide! Especially those from WHSmith's.
What you need Phoenix, is a new line: "Like or lump it! This is who I am!"
Walk away. If they do not follow you, be glad you lost them...
I found cycling a cure for just about everything... really got my life back on track when it ran off the rails several years ago. But these days... just too dangerous on the road... and I tend to crash too often off road!!!
So did you accept the invitiation?
cream - my sentiments exactly.:-)
General- loving my cycling,and yes invitation accepted,who am I to turn down having my dinner made for me,nobody but nobody cooks for me in my house as it's just me and mini-me.being just 8 I reckon a 3 courser might be too much prep for her hehe.
I don't know what to suggest re: the boy situation. You know I'm utter shit at that :)
Looking forward to see how this turns out!
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