Wednesday 18 April 2007

being myself?

Hullooooo *peers nervously around the door*
aahhhhemmm
It's been a while since I've been here and it's a bit daunting I must say. I wondered what to write on my first post of my new blog, but I reckon you may be so used to my rambling(previous commenter's on my deleted life blog that is) that anything remotely trying to be clever or thought provoking may be laughed at, so I'll just give you a bit of a catch up on what I've been up to.(I'm saying 'you' like I'm assuming people are going to want to read this!)
Well where do i start. I am now a happy singleton instead of one who thought it was absolutely the worst thing ever on the planet, and no longer think having my heart broken was something I'd never survive. In fact I'd go so far as to say I'm actually enjoying myself for the first time in.... well lets just say it feels like a very long time. The broken part of me is now safely stored in the lessons learned part of my brain,only to be used when repeating the same mistakes later.
I'll start with dating:
I've taken the first tentative steps into the scary world of dating and landed somewhat lucky in my first attempt by not having to even look about for him. He came into my then place of work (that's changed too!) bought something,then commented on my lovely glasses. I thought he was lovely but thought no more of it until that night,when out on my first night out in 8MONTHS! he was the first person i bumped into!
We talked all night, he got a peck on the cheek (I'm a lady!)and that was that. Next day there was a note through the door asking me out for dinner. yippee I thought a real man asking me out for a real dinner. But when it came down to calling him back I confess it took me 2 days!. I had been in the same relationship for 13years and to be frank i couldn't bloody remember what to do. How do you have conversation? Is there etiquette involved? do I leave it a bit longer to call? Do I kiss him at the end of the night or the beginning or would he expect more if he's taking me out to a swanky restaurant.Will I talk too much or not enough(i have a tendency to do both depending on the mood) Shit!
Now you all might think that this is just a little bit melodramatic but I was seriously panicking, then someone told me 'just be yourself' and made it worse! I could try that I suppose if I could remember who that was. I've been Mum and wife for so long I'd kind of lost myself in the ether.Now I know I can have fun, have a laugh with my friends, drink too much and make a fool of myself, but that's with people I know, and 9 times out of 10 was in my own home.Shit!
So I did the only thing I could think of, I put on new clothes, put on my best slap,downed a triple vodka and pretended it wasn't a date but a meeting with an important client.
Now I don't know if it was the vodka ,the very expensive new trousers I'd just broken the bank for,or the fact I had put the whole thought of it being a date out of my mind, but I felt super confident after that and found myself actually enjoying the conversation. In fact I'd go so far as to say it flowed! So much so that he left mine at 2am after coffee more chat and the most amazing kiss I've had in years.
Now you may want to know what happened next but I've got a lot of time to catch up on so you'll have to wait, just remember though I'm single for the first time in a lifetime and want to have some fun so don't have me married off yet! x

16 comments:

Eddy said...

Ha ha - welcome to your new, very pink, home. Hope you enjoy it and the neighbours are okay. x

phoenix said...

thank you, you are officially my first visitor so you get an extra big helping of cheesecake and me talking rubbish x

Eddy said...

Mmmm cheesecake - my favourite. How did you know?

phoenix said...

Just a guess, my favourite too;-)
ha ha 4 comments looks good in my first couple of hours even if it is just us!

Eddy said...

And conversing in two places at once - too complex!

Melissa said...

Good for you! I'm glad you had such a nice time (especially after being a bit nervous) and "the most amazing kiss ... in years" is nothing to sneeze at.

Sorry to barge in on the conversation :)

Rebecca said...

Hi...I'm Rebecca. A friend (I hope) to James. I came here via his blog. I must say you are very funny and witty and I am glad to meet you.

phoenix said...

Hi Rebecca ,i've commented on your blog before on a very touching and emotional post, priveleged to have you here. Hello Melissa too thank you for dropping by, the more the merrier. I had a blog before and made lots of lovely blog friends and it's equally nice to make new ones at my new residence. x

Unknown said...

Ah - I ADORE dates like that! I eagerly await the next installment...

London Lass Blog said...

Well I dont know anyone here .. just being extremely nosey and stumbled on your Blog in a haphazard (and extremely nosey) fashion.

Just to say : date sounds all good :) When's the next one?

(see? how nosey am I...)

pink jellybaby said...

sounds like it went well!! a bit of confidence works wonders :)

phoenix said...

hello and welcome. This all happened a few weeks ago, I'm doing a wee catch up so will tell all soon

SpanishGoth said...

Ha ha - she's back, she's dating, she's snogging

(phew getting warm in here - must be why the clothes are coming off)

*kidding*

Glad to see you back

phoenix said...

wait till you find out this week's tete a tete! think i'm reliving my twenties hehehe

Anonymous said...

ooh i can post over here now. Hurrah.. Welcome back honey. Pink is a very good colour. x

phoenix said...

why thank you! i've decided that my life from now on is going to be girly all the way! right down to my home decor, gonna do it my way now and that means some fabulous french style white furniture which would never have been allowed before is now winging it's way to my boudoir yippee!!