art tart

How does this sound for a job? Art Exhibition Escort. So far this week 2 artists who I know relatively well, have asked me to escort them to exhibitions.
One is a local exhibition on Picasso the other is an exhibition in London by watercolour artist John White (16th century).I know relatively little about either,though I have been to a few exhibitions on Picasso I've had to read up a bit about John White.
I do enjoy going to these things,if only to bring down the tone a notch or two as I find some of the people that go to these things infuriatingly boring and, well, to put it gently,up their own arses! I've a feeling that the artists who I'm going with tend to find this type of attitude really refreshing and is possibly why they ask me to accompany them,as more often than not I've found that the artists themselves hate going to these things simply because of the supposed officianado's.Sometimes a bit of lightheartedness and jollity is required!
I love art, I appreciate the work and time and love that goes into paintings,sculptures or whatever the subject is. I marvel at the imagination and skill,I wish I could do half of what I've seen but what I hate more than anything is people telling me what it's all about. I like to take my own thoughts on the work but would never imply to know the inner workings of the artists minds,only they know that and half the time you'll find that they themselves don't know,they just liked what was coming out on the canvas,either that or they were pissed!(happens a lot,some of my best work was done accompanied by vodka)
So I'll happily go along and be art totty but I'm warning any 'appreciators of his work' don't approach me telling me how this painting shows me a window into his soul or I'll stick my paintbrush where the sun don't shine.